(I wrote this in 2010, for my baptism. So the story begins in 2008).
Two years ago, you’d find me and my blue hair in a Nine Inch Nails mosh pit, not church. I was lost and at that point, getting found was the last thing on my mind. In October of 2008, I met my now husband.
One night were talking about some pretty heavy things, and after he bluntly told me he could never date someone who wouldn’t go to church, I agreed to go because I really wanted to impress him.
We’d been going to church for about a year, when I had a miscarriage. I never knew hurt like that. I felt like a failure, like I had been betrayed by my own body. I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve that pain.
The following Sunday, was Helen’s “getting rid of the ‘if’ in your life” sermon. She talked about freedom coming from letting go of that “if”. I knew my “if” at that point was “God, if only you could take this hurt away”. So, at the end of the sermon, I wrote that on my card and gave it away. It was hard to get through that hurt, but I kept reminding myself that I had given God my “if” and he would take care of my husband and I. And the very next month, I was pregnant again! Clearly, God was taking care of us!
After that, God really started working on my heart, pulling me closer and closer to him.
Then on Feb 28th, 2010, at the end of “Cracking the Code” I had examined all the evidence, and knew that I couldn’t go another day without Jesus in my heart. With tears streaming down my face, I made my way to the front and with many of my fellow Questers, I asked Jesus to come into my heart, and take away all the bad things I had done in my life, and all the hurt I had experienced. From that moment on, I knew I didn’t have to carry around the burdens of my past. Every sin is gone. Every hurt I’ve felt has been erased and is now replaced with happiness and freedom that words can’t describe. I look forward to every day, because I know that I have Jesus in my corner, and with him, I can do anything!
